Cue in When You’re Dreaming With A Broken Heart (2006) by John Mayer. Kidding aside, you can get a box of tissues first before you read on. If you’re having a hard time processing that it’s over, try to relax and take a deep breath.
Medically speaking, broken heart syndrome which is also known as takotsubo cardiomyopathy mimics the symptoms of a heart attack. It is usually caused by sudden physical or emotional stress, which in your case, a break-up.
Having a broken heart is not easy to deal with, and unfortunately, the break-up is not the last worst thing you’ll encounter. Still, if you’re ready to face it, here are 11 things you’ll hate after a break-up!
1. Staying away from his online accounts
You haven’t blocked him yet? If you’re constantly updated on what’s happening to him, you’ll just strengthen your attachment which will make it even harder for you to move on. It’ll also give you a nudge to chat or call him, and you don’t want to make things complicated. In the end, you’ll just get hurt even more.
2. Avoiding him in person
You’ll have no problem if he’s miles away, but if you’re living in the same area it might be a tricky one. All you can do is try to avoid going to places where he might be. Unfortunately, there are unexpected moments when you’re in a convenience store, wearing loose clothes, and you bump into him. It’s like destiny punishing you for unknown reasons.
3. Wallowing in pain
Go ahead, take your time, and let it all out. After you’ve acknowledged the fact that you’re sad, it’s time to face it and cry out loud. Addressing that you’re in pain will make you feel a lot better. Wallowing doesn’t mean that you’re weak. It just shows that you’re mature enough to face your problems no matter how hard it is.
Whatever your method of wallowing, do it. If you need a suggestion, get some popcorn, beer, and a comfy blanket. Then you can watch movies like Break-up (2006), Someone Great (2019), and Eternal Sunshine of Spotless Mind (2004).
4. Returning all of his stuff back
Things that remind you of him might prevent you from moving on, and you’ll just go back to memory lane time after time. Start by decluttering, but don’t rush it. Do it when you think you’re ready to visit all your memories one last time. Remove all the gifts, men’s shirts, photos, and letters that encapsulate your entire relationship. If you don’t want to return them to him, you can just donate some of them, and throw the others away.
5. Doing things on your own
Yes, it’s awful to be alone doing things you usually do together but you have no choice. You’ll just have to deal with the fact that you can also be happy on your own, not pretending he’s beside you.
6. Pretending you’re okay
You don’t have to pretend if you’re not. However, sometimes when people are constantly asking you how you have been, it can be too annoying that you just have to pretend you’re okay. Even so, don’t let their judgments affect you.
7. Having hangover and over again
Drinking the pain away just helps a bit. If too much, you might just hurt yourself with all the morning hangovers. Besides, you should not forget that there’s a tendency that you might text or call your ex.
8. Everything reminds you of him
It’s annoying how different places or things remind you of a person. At the same time, we all know that everything will fade away through time.
A study was conducted by Langeslag and Sanchez (2018), where they gathered people to test the best way to help them move on. They found out that reassuring a person that it’s okay if they still love their ex even if they are no longer together can help better than making them think of good and bad memories. It doesn’t make the person sad or angry.
9. Accepting that it’s over
“But when it’s over, is it really over?” (Sugar Ray 2001). It depends, but most of the time, it is over. Whatever the reason for your break-up, it won’t help you get back together. Have you seen Someone Great (2019)? There’s a scene when Jenny (the main character) wrote a letter for his ex saying, “…there are no more ‘one mores’… that when something breaks if the pieces are large enough, you can still fix it. Unfortunately, sometimes things don’t break, they shatter”. With that, you should know that it’s good for your mental health to process it gradually.
10. Blaming yourself
Another movie reference is He’s Not Just That Into You (2009) where they exposed common excuses women made up just to comfort each other like “he’s just being mean because he likes you” or “you’re too good for him”. The truth is you don’t have to blame yourself if he treats you badly or cheats on you.
11. Trying to date again
People always say that when you just got out of a relationship, you should not date or marry the next person you meet. It makes sense because you need a full recovery and readiness before you try to date again. Otherwise, you’re just fooling yourself.
Even if you’re not even close to moving on, you’ll find a way to gradually heal from all the pain. Just comment below if you have anything to share, and someone will listen.